She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
