Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
