Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
