our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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