Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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