think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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