when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize