but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
