Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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