i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
