So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize