Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize