some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My vagina just recognized that song.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
