I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
