Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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