Kiss
Puke
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The ass gains better be worth it
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