I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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