She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
