Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.