So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
