Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
