That reminds me...we need to get swords
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
