Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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