Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
