Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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