Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
