The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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