He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
