i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize