If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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