Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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