I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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