this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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