ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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