So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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