I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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