it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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