Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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