so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
