So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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