do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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