Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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