He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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