U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think i peed on brittanys purse
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
