we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize