Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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