Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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