i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
