so explain again why im purple
no
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my poor anus
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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