Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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