I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
