You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
