i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is Oprah even human
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
