I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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