I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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