i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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